Scripture: Ephesians 4:25-5:2
“Sticks
and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” How many of us
remember saying this phrase as a kid? I know I did. This saying claims that
words have no power to hurt us. That we can feel pain from the beatings of
sticks and stones, but that words cause us no pain. As we grow up we realize
that this little children’s rhyme is absolutely wrong. Words can and do hurt
us. It hurts when someone completely disrespects us, it hurts when words are
used to embarrass us in front of others, and it really hurts when words of hate
and anger are flung in our direction. That’s not the only way that words hurt
us. Words that come from our own lips have a way of hurting us as well. How
many times have you said something only to immediately regret it, or to think
about it a few days later and wish that you had never said it at all? How many
times has something flown loosely from your tongue and damaged a relationship
with someone that you truly cared about? If someone who didn’t know you
listened to what you said on a daily basis, what would they think about you?
Would they hear God’s love in your words, or would they hear something else?
Unlike what our familiar children’s rhyme tells us, words have a great deal of
power. After all there is another famous saying which says, “ The pen is
mightier than the sword.” Words can do more damage than physical attacks. I
think that the children’s rhyme should instead go something like this, “Sticks
and stones may break my bones, but words cut even deeper.
This is the power of words, and Paul addresses this power
in this passage to the Ephesians. If you remember a few weeks ago we looked at
an earlier chapter of Ephesians. In that chapter Paul focused on the
theological concept that the church neither belonged to Jews nor Gentiles, but
instead belonged to God. That chapter focused on unity in the church, and the
reconciliation between the Gentiles and Jews. Well here were are, two chapters
later and this focus on the unity of the church is still front and center in
Paul’s writings. Except now Paul is not talking about some broad theological
reason for why the church is and should be one body, but instead he is diving
into everyday, practical advice, including advice on how we use our words.
Paul begins this passage by reminding us that we are all
one members of Christ’s body. He says, “So then
putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we
are all members of one another.” We are all members of one another. Paul
is reminding us that the words that come out of our mouths do not only affect
us, they do not only affect the person that we are talking to, but he reminds
us that our words have a greater purpose. He reminds us that we are all one
member of Christ’s body, and so our words affect the body of Christ. This is
why Paul takes so much time to write about our speech in the church, because
our speech directly affects the church. Words that are guided by anger, words
that are spoken with malice or ill intent, and of course false or slanderous
words are all like sticks and stones beating at the body of Christ. So often we
don’t even know the damage we are doing. We tells stories about that we heard
about someone else because we find them to be fascinating and full of drama. We
speak out against someone else in the company of others, but do not speak these
things to the person with whom we are displeased. We all like to think that
gossip was something that we left back in high school, but the truth is that
gossip happens with every age group.
There is a wonderful play called Doubt, which a few years
ago was made into a movie. In the movie the priest of the Catholic story, was
giving a sermon and told a powerful story about gossip. He says that once there
was a woman who went to confess her sins to the priest, as is custom in
Catholic tradition. She tells the priest, “Father I have sinned because I have
spread gossip around the church.” The father listens to her confession and is
quiet for a moment but then tells the woman, “Tonight I want you to go home and
cut into one of your feather pillows and leave it on the doorstep.” The woman
did not understand how this would help her repent of her sin, but she went home
and did what the priest had told her to do anyways. The next week she returned
to the confessional very confused. She told the priest, “I have done what you
said, I have cut the pillow and left it outside on my front steps, but I do not
see how this helps my situation.” The priests replies, “Now I want you to go
back and collect every feather from that pillow and bring them to me!” The
woman was stunned, she replied, “But father, the pillow has been outside for a
week, who knows where the wind has taken all of the feathers, there is no way I
can get them back.” The priest boldly responded, “Words are like the feathers
in the wind, once they are taken away you never know where they will go, and
you can never get them all back.”
What a powerful story,
that reminds of how words can take wings even when we don’t intend for them to.
While Paul tells us about how words can hurt others
through the use of malicious, angry, deceitful, and petty words, we must not
forget that words are not always a bad thing. That the power of words can also
build up the kingdom of God, through speaking truth, speaking with love, and
speaking for and about God. After all, one of the most central elements of this
worship service is the reading and the proclamation of the word of God. And
within this Bible, this word of God, we can read about the awesome, amazing
works of God. You can read the Magnificat, Mary’s beautiful prayer in which she
praises God for giving her the honor of bearing Jesus. You can read David’s
beautiful psalms expressing his pain and his joy and love for God through it
all. We are able to of the day of Pentecost where words in different tongues
were able to be understood by all, and we can read in Revelation about the
great multitude around the throne of God praising the Lamb. We read about the
heavenly choir singing, and we join with them during Communion saying Holy.
Holy. Holy Lord, God of power and might, heaven and earth are full of your
glory, Hosanna in the highest, blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord,
Hosanna in the highest! There are so many powerful uses of words in the Bible,
that lead us to celebrate and worship our Lord Jesus Christ. And let us not
forget that our very existence is because of words. “And God said let us create
mankind in our image.” There and in the rest of the creation story we see that
pivotal phrase, and God said. And God said let there be light, And God said let
the land produce vegetation, And God said, let the water teem with living
creatures, Creation began through God speaking.
The question then becomes, how are we going to use our
words? Are we going to use them to tear down others, through speaking with
malice, through speaking with deceit, through speaking in anger and rage to
each other? Will others hear the message and love of Christ through our speech,
or will we as Paul puts it, “make room for the devil”
through our words. Will we let the sun go down on our anger, or will our words
be used to for reconciliation, amends, and healing? Paul is laying out two
paths for us in our passage, one path in which our words are destructive and
are attacks against the Kingdom of God, and the other path in which our words
become mighty tools for building up the Kingdom of God. There is no doubt which
path Paul prefers, he says, “ Let no evil talk come out
of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so
that your words may give grace to those to hear.”
Paul’s message to us
may sound like simple moral advice. Many of us probably hear his words with a
harsher tone. His words can sound like condemnation for the way we live. All of
this talk about how we shouldn’t lie to one another, or speak maliciously to
each other, or how we shouldn’t let the sun go down on our anger, seems to at
best be everyday advice, and at worst can make us feel utterly judged,
condemned, vilified, and evil, and worthless. While Paul’s letter is advice on
how we should and shouldn’t speak to each other, it is also a letter of hope.
Hope? You may be wondering to yourself how this is a letter of hope, and if you
are I completely understand. I felt the exact same way as I read through this
passage over and over again until that hope, “jumped up and bit me” as Forrest
Gump would say. In this whole passage Paul is telling us about the power of
words, and the emotions that are behind. He tells us that power of words can be
used to tear others down, but the hope lies in that passage that I read a
little while ago, “but only what is useful for building
up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those to hear.” Since
words can hold so much power, so much can be done through them. Paul tells us
that our words can help to build up each other and the body of Christ, and that
our words, our words can give grace to those who hear.” What an awesome power
is that! The way we talk to each other, the way we speak to the cashiers in
grocery store, the servers in the restaurants, the way we speak to those we
love and the way we speak to those who
we would rather not be around, can be
used to build up the Kingdom of God, and to help others hear the grace of God.
This is why Paul spends this much time talking about how to use our words
because there is so much power wielded in them. It’s like the classic Spiderman
phrase goes, “With great power, comes great responsibility.” We have great
power in our words, in with that we have a great responsibility with how we use
them.
I was once asked by a pastor who had been preaching for
many years if I was nervous when I got up to preach, and I truthfully told him
that I usually am. He just looked at me and said, “Good, me too. When you stop
feeling nervous about proclaiming the word of God, then you shouldn’t be
proclaiming the word at all.” It is difficult to carry the burden of using our
words to show God to others. It is even harder because it is something that we
do anytime we open our mouths. All of our interactions with others can either
tear down or lift up Christ. With all of this pressure, it is difficult for us
to even know at times how to go about using our words to build up the Kingdom,
but Paul knew that and gives us the ultimate guideline for our speech. He says,
“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved
children, and live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us.” How
do we use our speech to build up the body of Christ? We do it by following the
example of Jesus Christ, by living, acting, and speaking in love. How do we use
our words in love? By following the Word, the only Word that matters. Remember
the introduction to the Gospel of John, “In the
beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God, All
things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into
being. And the Word became flesh and lived among us, and we have seen his
glory, the glory as of a father’s only son, full of grace and truth.” Jesus
is the Word, the Word who was there at
creation that spoke all beings into existence, and Jesus in the Word that
became flesh, who sacrificed himself for us. How should we use our words? Our words should imitate the Word made flesh,
our words should imitate Christ.
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